Monday, July 17, 2006

The unknown and jumping without a net. Also the front lines...

It is summer and the heat has come, but along with that comes the summer tradition in my life of having to leap into the unknown. The past few years I really have not had to do this, because I knew I would be in school next year. I guess it is back to where I was before comming to Ave and having to leap without knowing where I will land. I can never see where I will land when I am at a major turning point of my life. The unknown, honestly scares the life out of me, but has to be left to One who knows all possiblities. I have a hard head and learning to trust is very difficult for me. I have trouble trusting my own instincts, even though they have very rarely been shown to be wrong. They tell me that God is in control and will look out for me as He always has. They also tell me that He loves me, wanting me to know, love and serve Him. He is my King and I will always serve Him. Fully serving Christ, now that scares me. To do that would be sainthood and there is no telling what He wants.

I came to Ave as a way of learning and not being on the frontlines of the Church for a time. I've had my time of sybatical from the fight and even that has not been without its conflicts, but none as serious or important as the ones I have been in pior to Ave. But I think the time has come for me to get back into the fight and serve Christ always. I must come to love my Master as Sam Gamgee loves Frodo. I have had a time without the strive that comes with being fully for Christ in the world. The time of total peace has gone, the battle for souls will go on. I always list my politics as 'other' because it does not matter about taxes, social security checks or whatever you think of in politics. What truly matters are souls. It is not for anything of this world that we should be fighting for but for souls. I do recognize that poltics can be used for this, but do any of us have the courage to do this? Do not forget, we are at war, and victory cannot be gained by strength of arms. I agree with Gandalf saying, "I still hope for victory, but not by arms."How than do still hope? We hope through Jesus Christ, who took the fight to the enemy but that was by bruising His own heel. He embraced His heel and became small. So to must we embrace our heel and become small. The only way we can win is through humility and simplisty in Christ. Christ is the only one who can achieve victory. We must walk up to the lines of the battle and do always service of Christ. Dropping to our knees and asking our King to lead us. We must become small, humbling ouresleves before Christ. But I think I have bantered on long enough, this is what comes out of me when we get stream of conciousness.

1 comment:

Emily said...

Go Tom, Go! Fight the good fight. All will be well. God has an awesome plan... He's just taking awhile to reveal it to you. :-)